How to meet people.
So with Valentines day coming up and all it got me to thinking where does one who does not currently have a significant other meet someone.
Because ever now and again I go out to "the bars" and you see people trying to "hook up" all night to no avail usually and yet they do this every weekend hoping for that one weekend when the person they are interested in will also be out and see them and be interested and for some totally unplausable reason. They'll talk or whatever and it'll work out.
They'll start dating.
I ask you, how many people in serious long term relationships that you know, met at a bar. I would bet your odd's are better to get struck by lightning.
So then where do you go, if not the bars. Well here's a few ideas I had. But I am looking for more suggestions. Because I know some people who are in this very predicament right now.
One option and a very good one proposed to me by TheMusicMan is to volunteer. Pick a place like a gallery, museum, zoo, hospital, parks and rec, library plant center, whatever. And volunteer, this way you have an immediate in, your the person that people ask when they have questions. Conversations are pretty much a given and isn't that the hardest part striking up a conversation. Also you come out looking really good cause your somebody who volunteers their time in the community, your a good samaritan.
In the past I have volunteer coached little kids soccer and there have inevitably been a couple of single mom's whose littl kid was on my team. Depending on the age of the kid you are going to meet someone between the ages of 30 - late 40's. Now you also are going to meet someone with a kid, so if you don't want to meet someone with a kid this may not be the way to go. But I throw it out there as another idea.
Two , Go places where people of like minds are going to be. If your looking for somebody who is into plants, go to the botanical gardens, (hell, volunteer at the botanical gardens, but then I covered that under one) Go to a gallery if your looking for the artsy type. Go to Tattoo conventions if your looking for the counter culture type. Go to record stores. Go to the library or bookstores if your looking for a bookworm. Go to where the type of person your looking to meet frequents.
Three Join an organization. If your looking to meet someone who is interested in books, join a bookclub. If your looking for an outdoors type join a group that goes on hikes and nature walks in the area. If your looking for someone who is a strong advocate for animal rights, join that type of organization, If your looking for someone in your community, join the civic league, Join the chamber of commerce if your looking for someone who is more of a business type, join the type of organization that would appeal to the type of person your looking for.
Four if your looking for someone who is atheletic, join a team or league that is in your area. The city your in probably has a list at the parks and recs center. If your into running the local running store probably knows of a running group. They might even host one. The local bike shop probably has a bike group. I am sure the bowling alley has a bowlilng league. There might even be a softball league or two around you.
Five> Take a class. This is always a great place to meet someone. Whether you take a class at the local college, community college in something your interested in. Or a class at one of the local community centers, adult learning centers or independent business that offers classes. There are going to be people that are probably interested in talking at least about what your studying in that class.
Six There's probably an online dating in your area. I do know of people who this has worked for. I have never done it myself so I couldn't tell you all the details about how it works. From what I understand you sign up online and put up your profile, then you look at other profiles of other members of the same service and intially contact each other via e-mail. If that works out you progress to phone calls and then go out on dates.
But to sum it all up I think it is only through frequent repeated exposures that someone really warm's up to another person. Most of the people that I know met their significant other in this way.
I can't think of anyone who is involved in a long term relationship that met their special someone in a bar.
Now on the other hand I don't know that I would rule out a bar, but it is certainly a harder way to get there. It's a highly competitive beauty pagent with everyone intially judging each other on looks, and where everything you say comes out sounding like a pick-up line.
But I am sure there are more ways to meet your special someone than the ones I have outlined. So if you have a suggestion or a story about it. Post it.
Because ever now and again I go out to "the bars" and you see people trying to "hook up" all night to no avail usually and yet they do this every weekend hoping for that one weekend when the person they are interested in will also be out and see them and be interested and for some totally unplausable reason. They'll talk or whatever and it'll work out.
They'll start dating.
I ask you, how many people in serious long term relationships that you know, met at a bar. I would bet your odd's are better to get struck by lightning.
So then where do you go, if not the bars. Well here's a few ideas I had. But I am looking for more suggestions. Because I know some people who are in this very predicament right now.
One option and a very good one proposed to me by TheMusicMan is to volunteer. Pick a place like a gallery, museum, zoo, hospital, parks and rec, library plant center, whatever. And volunteer, this way you have an immediate in, your the person that people ask when they have questions. Conversations are pretty much a given and isn't that the hardest part striking up a conversation. Also you come out looking really good cause your somebody who volunteers their time in the community, your a good samaritan.
In the past I have volunteer coached little kids soccer and there have inevitably been a couple of single mom's whose littl kid was on my team. Depending on the age of the kid you are going to meet someone between the ages of 30 - late 40's. Now you also are going to meet someone with a kid, so if you don't want to meet someone with a kid this may not be the way to go. But I throw it out there as another idea.
Two , Go places where people of like minds are going to be. If your looking for somebody who is into plants, go to the botanical gardens, (hell, volunteer at the botanical gardens, but then I covered that under one) Go to a gallery if your looking for the artsy type. Go to Tattoo conventions if your looking for the counter culture type. Go to record stores. Go to the library or bookstores if your looking for a bookworm. Go to where the type of person your looking to meet frequents.
Three Join an organization. If your looking to meet someone who is interested in books, join a bookclub. If your looking for an outdoors type join a group that goes on hikes and nature walks in the area. If your looking for someone who is a strong advocate for animal rights, join that type of organization, If your looking for someone in your community, join the civic league, Join the chamber of commerce if your looking for someone who is more of a business type, join the type of organization that would appeal to the type of person your looking for.
Four if your looking for someone who is atheletic, join a team or league that is in your area. The city your in probably has a list at the parks and recs center. If your into running the local running store probably knows of a running group. They might even host one. The local bike shop probably has a bike group. I am sure the bowling alley has a bowlilng league. There might even be a softball league or two around you.
Five> Take a class. This is always a great place to meet someone. Whether you take a class at the local college, community college in something your interested in. Or a class at one of the local community centers, adult learning centers or independent business that offers classes. There are going to be people that are probably interested in talking at least about what your studying in that class.
Six There's probably an online dating in your area. I do know of people who this has worked for. I have never done it myself so I couldn't tell you all the details about how it works. From what I understand you sign up online and put up your profile, then you look at other profiles of other members of the same service and intially contact each other via e-mail. If that works out you progress to phone calls and then go out on dates.
But to sum it all up I think it is only through frequent repeated exposures that someone really warm's up to another person. Most of the people that I know met their significant other in this way.
I can't think of anyone who is involved in a long term relationship that met their special someone in a bar.
Now on the other hand I don't know that I would rule out a bar, but it is certainly a harder way to get there. It's a highly competitive beauty pagent with everyone intially judging each other on looks, and where everything you say comes out sounding like a pick-up line.
But I am sure there are more ways to meet your special someone than the ones I have outlined. So if you have a suggestion or a story about it. Post it.
posted by The Information Officer at 3:12 PM
5 Comments:
Didn't pakes meet his girl in the bar?
I need a ride to a town that was 400 miles away and my wife just happened to be heading there and she was a friend of an exgf.
How did you meet The Bookworm? LWC and I met at a Halloween party.
try college. i hear the art club is a good place.
Agreed that the classes at the local college/art school/rec center are a definite. I've always seemed to have met my significant others thru mutual friends or work related stuff.
Don't forget about the girl/guy who works behind the counter at "insert store name here". If they work somewhere where they are expected to be nice they can't just shrug you off immediatly. And then your "witty charm" can win them over, or not.
Okay...I am going to blow your opinions out of the water. As you may remember, way back when, I met my future husband in a bar. I didn't like him at the time but we met at Hot Tuna at the beach. We were casual friends for 8 months, starting dating and got engaged 4 months after that. This year we will be married 9 years so....you can meet in a bar!! I took a photography class at ODU to meet guys but ended up meeting one of my best girlfriends so I think classes are a great thing. Great to hear from you, by the way!
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